Marriage (Part 2)

Back to the going out thing. Mark introduced me to the girl accross the street, Rosalee.told me that I should take her out and show her how to have fun. So after him bugging me a bunch of times I did. We had a good time. Went to the Red House in Leesburg. Then she found out about a male review, her friend Bea told her about. So Bea, Rosalee, and I went. We had a real good time. I was always the DD. Cause I didn't drink. After that we befriended these dancers. Bobby the owner, Joel, Eddie, and Cody Lee. Bobby would call me when they were going to be around. I gave him and Cody my work number. Sometimes they would call me just to talk, and see how I was doing. Finally I got My friend Joan to go to a show so she could meet Cody. She had heard me talk about him alot. I don't believe she thought I was telling her the truth when I would tell her how hot he was, until that night when she saw him for the first time. He came into the bar came right over to me and kissed me square on the lips. After that he went into the back to get ready, she slugs me in the arm and says I can't believe you haven't f....d him yet. It's obvious he likes you. I said yeah I know but I'm married. She said to hell with Mark he's an asshole. I said can't do that. The first time I noticed Cody was when Rosalee and I went to see them. She had to leave the show early because of her son. She told me to talk to Cody and see if he could go out with us sometime outside of a show. So after that show we talked. We sat in the parking lot at Taco Bell and talked for 2 hours. Next thing I know he's kissing me. Finally I told him I couldn't and we needed to stop. I was petrified to tell Rosalee what happened. It took me 2 weeks. Once I did she was like heck girl don't worry. God was I relieved. Then when she saw him with me she said girl he has got it bad. I wasn't so sure. I still believe that he just used me because I was married and always wore my wedding ring. He knew I would never cheat on Mark. So therefore he was safe. If the girls were really bad he would cling to me. After a while Mark didn't like me going out anymore forbid to go out to any male reviews. He almost got arrested once for trying to drag me out from one. Finally on September 26 1998 I left him. There are so many other stories I could tell. I could actually have a sitcom about my life. Some of the things us girls did was wild. My divorce from Mark was final Feb. 17, 1998.

Marriage

I would like to say that the next 13 years were fun but I'm not a good liar. Our son Joshua was born on June 24th, 1986, 25 years to the date after me. That's right he was born on my birthday, after 29 hours of labor. I made a joke during labor that it must have his fathers nose and it keeps getting hung up in there. We were still living with my parents. I came home the day I had him. My Dad, my Grandma, and my sister Joy were there when I got home. The next day I was sore from my neck to my ankles. The baby was crying, all Mark could say was, get the f.... up and get the baby. I said I can't I'm to sore. He gave me a shove instead of getting up for me. That was pretty much how the whole marriage went. We moved in with his sister and her husband. That was a mistake. I saw him shove a gun in her mouth. There were certain ways she wanted things. We finally moved to NY. My friend Debbie let us stay with them for 2 weeks. Then we moved into a 1 room effiency apartment. We lived in NY until Josh was 13 months. I didn't work that whole year. We moved back to FL. I stayed @ my parents with Josh. Mark stayed with his parents. I did it that way because then that way Mark would be motivated to get a house. Sure enough, in one month we had a mobile home. I started working again at T J Maxx. Started going out with my friends to clubs. Let Mark go out. I trusted him. Because I knew I wasn't cheating. Then he started accusing me of cheating. This went on for the rest of our marriage even when I quit going out. In January of 1990 I was expecting baby number 2. Mark's Mom died April 30th. Our daughter Jerusha was born Sept. 24th, 1990. After only one hour of labor. Then in 1992 I was in a bad accident. A lady T-boned me. I got a settlement. We bought our first real house. The kids were 8 and 4 we were going to church on a regular basis. I thought life was good. Then Mark started acting weird again. I was really involved in the church. In the choir and the daycare, Mark drove the church bus. At one point some man called my house threatening Mark's life for supposedly hitting on his wife. I gave the guy our address and told him to cone on over I had a bullet with his name on it, he never showed up. That was the beginning of the end for me. I started going to male reviews with Rosalee, someone Mark befriended..,more tomorrow.

The Wedding

It was a chilly Decemember day. After having to change my plans several times, we finally got married at the club house in the mobile home park where we were living with my parents. Wehad the reception there too. It was small I did wear a wedding dress with a hat with a veil. It was victorian. We were to have a car with a rumble seat. Didn't get that either. There were about 35 people their. The food was good prepared by my mom and his mom. My maid of honor was Janet a girl I barely knew because my best friend bailed on me because she didn't like Mark. My dad walked me down an isle between folding chairs. To the wedding march which my friend Denise played high as a kite because she she was nervous. She kept repeating the first two lines. I didn't wear my glasses. But I saw David's girlfriend wearing a white dress with a black hat. I was so upset. My friend Marg caught the bouquet, David caught the guarder. When he had to put it on Margie's leg his girlfriend got mad and left. Tried to disrupt everything but that didn't work. So she sat in the car and sulked. When we went over to his parents house that night she wanted an apology, she didn't get one from me or Mark. I was hormonal @ 3 months pregnant any way.

Mark

I'ed like to say Mark is interesting, smart, and charming but he's not. I met him as I said before when I was out with my friend Denise. Her and I and some guy friend of hers, I don't remember his mame, all went out to the ABC lounge in Apopka. We went in sat @ the rotating bar had a few drinks. As it ustally went in those days I would only buy one or no drinks. As soon as I walked in the door someone would ask me to dance I would say yes and that was that. Dance then a drink. Well this night no different. Only the second guy I danced w/was Mark. He said he saw me up on the dance floor w/this biker lookin' dude and wondered why I was w/him then when I came his way to sit down and said excuse me because I bumped him, he had to dance w/me. We danced, the man can dance. He looked rough, long jet black hair, dirty clothes, a Harley hat w/a naked woman w/wings and military boots on. I thought what the hey he can dance and as long as he buys the drinks. Then he tells me he has a show corvette outside I said yeah right. Well then Denise's friend gets kicked out so we leave. We're in the parking lot he smokes the tires, here comes this corvette. Oh @ this point he tells me everyone calls him Sparky. Denise starts freakin' out thinkin' the guy in the vette is gonna kill us till I tell her it's the guy I met inside. He asks me to ride w/him to ABC in Casselberry. Denise says go ahead her and her friend will follow us. I said ok but if tries anything funny I'm jumpinh out I don't care if he is doing 55 mph. Well we got there the bouncer knew him we got in free except for Denises friend they wouldn't let him in because he didn't have a collar on his shirt, so he left. We sat down Mark got up to go to thd bathroom. Another guy asked me to dance I said yes, after that he bought me a drink, which was more than mark was doing. We danced again. The guy asked me to deal some coke for him I had no idea what to do. Then I saw Mark and Denise getting up to leave so I told the guy I had to go. Got outside and Mark starts yelling @ me so I yelled back telling him he was a cheap bastard, invites me out and doesn't buy me a drink. Then on our way homd now mind you there are three of us in this vette and Denise is not small. She starts a fight w/this guy going down thd highway. Mark says your friends pretty radical am I gonna have to get out my gun. Sure enough he had a Colt 45. Finally I got home he told me he would pick me up for work in the morning, and he did I told my mom he was coming to pick me up. When she found out he had a vette she thought I hit the big time. One time while Mark was over Dale called and asked me out I said I hadn't heard from him in 3 wks. Then I told him I was seeing someone steady. Mark got mad then too. My mother told him ge had no right to be mad I wasn't wearing a ring. Well he fixed that that weekend. He asked me too marry him I said yes, this was three mths after we met. There were many times he made me cry. I still say he was nuts. We decided to get married Dec. 21 1985. Then toward the end of Sept. my mom told me Fred called. I wrestled w/hdthat for a couple weeks. I decided to break the engagement. By this time we were living w/my parents. At their suggestion to save money. I told Mark I didn't want to marry him. He cried like a baby. I caved. We got married on the set date. I was 3 mths pregnant then. Didn't get the wedding I wanted. Mark could never seem to hold a job.

Aaahh Florida

I moved to Florida the summer of 84. I wanted Mitch to move w/me, but he said he would wait till Sept. When Sept. rolled around no Mitch. Finally I called him he admitted he never wanted to come to Florida. I got so mad. I yelled @ him and told him I gave him every opportunity to tell me he didn't want to be with me. He said he did want to be w/me just not In Florida, but he knew I really wanted to go so he didn't want to stand in my way. Very selfless man. I was angry because I had been the good girlfriend and not been going out. Well that all changed. I got a job at a new store opening up T J Maxx I liked it alot. Became dept. Lead after 1 month. Made tons of new friends. Met tons of guys who would come into the store just to see me. At the point that I met my husband I was dating 5 guys @ one time. One guy named Steve looked just like David Hasselhoff. There was him, Dale, Greg, Tom, and Fred who I met while out w/Steve. Steve left to go to the bathroom, this guy asked me to dance I said yes. We got done dancing he asked me to come set w/him I told him no I was there w/someone. Steve was coming I introd. them Fred got a little nervous 'cause Steve was a big guy. While setting on Steve's lap I gave Fred my phone number. After me putting Fred off for a while we went on our first date. He took me out on his boat for the day then to dinner. Then home the next day. Yes, I spent the night. Yes, it was great. A couple weeks later we spent the weekend together @ a friends house. The freind told me Fred really liked me or he wouldn't have brought me. I told him good 'cause I really liked Fred too. We went back to his place the ex-wife was there. He said what is she doing here. I never saw Fred again after that weekend talked to him a couple times that was it. I was devestated. Went out w/my friend Denise one of many times (boy there tons of stories of her and I.) I meet this guy named Mark. Mark deserves his own blog so more tomorrow.

My First Job

I had been looking for a job for quite a while. I didn't realize it would be so hard. People look at you different when you're handicapped. You have to prove your worth with everything you do. Finally I got a job @ the JM Murray Center as a payroll inventory controll clerk. It was a sheltered workshop for handicapped adults. But they knew right away that I didn't belong back in the workshop it's self. Even though I did the eval for it. I loved the job. Got to work with the clients too. But it was there that I met the first man I would be intimate with. His name was Ed. He looked like Beau Brady from Days of Our Lives. We dated for a while then he decided to get serious w/another girl so we broke it off. We still worked together but that was it. I moved into my first apartment while dating Ed w/my sister Cheryl. In a basement of a house in Cortland NY. It was cute cozy 190.00 a month. I decided if I was going to start having sex I had better take the pill I did not want any babies. My mom found out and was livid. I told her would she rather I do like Renee did or be smarter, then I said it was none of her business I had my own place and could do as I pleased. I met another guy named Mike while I was seeing a guy named Scott. Broke up w/Scott. Had to move back home. One night I decided to spend the night w/Mike. Went home the next day, my dad told me that if I was going to do stuff like that I could move out. So, I did. Me and a girl named Carry got a big 2 bdrm apt. Together. We worked together too. It was great. After about 8mths.Mike decides to brake up w/me. I was devestated. I tried everything to get him back. Well after a few months of moping. I decided to try the bar scene. Mean while I got rid of the glasses and got contacts and colored my hair a lighter blonde. After Mike I didn't date anyone serious for a couple years. Dated a couple local celebs. Dick D. and Martin F. but my main guy was Dave a lead singer in a local band. All the girls wanted Dave but to bad we had a good thing for a while. Had my own little goon squad. If Dave was out of town doin' a gig and me and my friend Joanne went out they were right there w/me. After a while I got sick of it though. I came into The Wiffle Tree my usual place, see Stoner (one of the squad) he kisses me on the cheek I notice this guy stairing @ me. We go sit down. The guy goes and talks to Stoner. After he's done I go over to Stoner and ask him who's the guy and what did he say. Stoner says that's Dave Finestein from The Rods he asked me who you were and if you were available. I told him your name and told him you were my best friends talent. Boy I went off. Broke it off w/Dave after that. Started doing a bowling league for the adults @ the w/shop on Saturdays. A guy named Mitch started working @ the shelter in the summer of 83. We started dating, he moved in w/me. My parents sell everthing and move to FL. in the spring of 84. Mitch and I lived together 8 mths. Till I decided to move to FL in the summer of 84. He did not want to move. So I quite my job and moved to FL. Leaving Mitch and the whole Cortland scene. On a side note remember Ed well he married the girl he left me for. After being married a couple years he came back to see me @ the Murray Center I had a new boss who new nothing about us. I asked Ed how married life was? He said" I work alot of hours." Repeatedly. After he left my boss says, what just happened here? I said I don't know what you mean. He said the electricity between you two. He said that guy is in love w/you. I said, oh well maybe he married the wrong girl. He said I'll say he did.

Summer After Graduation

I finally graduated. I had a grad/birthday party. Lots of friends and family came, we had it @ the park. Got lots of money. Which I used for my trip to AL. to spend the summer w/my grandma Martin. Cheryl went too. But, first I wemt to NYC W/Renee she had to go to the Phillipean Embassy to get ppwk in order so she could fly there to be w/her husband Sterling. He was an MP in the Air Force. Boy that was a trip, we shopped on 5th Ave. Some guy was standing in a show case window I looked in and he made goo goo eyes @ me. Don't you know Renee wants to go in that store. The guy followed me all over the store. On our way back home we stopped @ a resturant and they gave us the red carpet treatment. I assumed it was because I was talking about my trip to Jamaica, Renee her trip to the Phillipeans, her friend who had gone somewhere eles. So they thought we were rich. The next day Cheryl and I left for AL. we landed in Montgomery. Went down to Opp. We only stayed a month and a half. But in that month and a half we met lots of new ppl. They had a community pool that we took our little sister Heather to almost every day. I met the lifeguard there, Mike Anderson. We started dating instantly. Down there it's like instant celebrity the minute you tell ppl you're from NY. I met Mike's ex-girlfriend Kim. She sure wanted to keep me close. When she found out that Mike kissed me right away I thought she was gonna die. She said it took him three weeks to kiss her. I said I think it was just because I was a girl from NY. Mike and I went to church together @ his church. He came by on one of his days off and told me Kim walked in on him in his bedroom. His mother and Kim were planning a going away party for him. He was joining the Air Force that fall. One of our dates he took me by the football stadium, it was more like a colusium. He told me about how it would echo when the crowd would cheer. He was quite the star of his team. I would call him my Mike my grandma would say he's not your Mike. So a few years later when my mom and I went back to visit. We saw his mom, and she told my mom she always liked meeting her sons girlfriends since she had all boys. And that I was one of her favorites it did my heart good. Anyways we had Mike's party he left. We went to six flags over GA. Then the day before we were getting ready to leave we were walking back from the pool a car load of guys pulls along side us and asked us our names. Cheryl didn't want to stop but I did. I said our names don't matter 'cause we're leaving tomorrow. They asked where we were from I told them, they asked if we were Clayne Bedsole's cousin's I said, yes, they told me they had been looking for us all summer. I said not hard enough it's not that big a town. We flew back to NY. I got back just in time for my friemd Debbie R's wedding. I received letters from Mike for a while.

11th and 12th Grade

It's our junior year. Summer was fun. My mom was pregnant w/baby number 6. I was nevous for her all year. The Dr tried to get her to have an abortion, because she was 42. She said I'll take what ever God gives me. I decided this year no steady boyfriend. Jeff in NC was enough. I spent almost every weekend @ my BF Debbie's house. She went to a different church than I did. It was great meeting a bunch of new kids. I met this one kid named Tom very cute. But then he told me he was only 13 that was tough, because he was very tall. He acted way older than he was. School was the same. One weekend our youth group had a pizza party I didn't get home until 4 am. My mom was up when I walked through the door, she was crying.she thought sometìng bad happened. I never did that again. The next day I went to church and Steve asked me if I was grounded I said no, that my mom was crying when I got home. All my teenage years I never had a curfew, because my parents always knew where I was. Finally my mom had her baby a girl Rachelle. Boy I thought she would never get hear after 3 months of having to shave my mom's legs I wouldn't have to do that anymore. She was perfectly healthy. Our choir exchange trip this year was in Goshen NY. Me and another girl and two guys stayed wthis black family. It was great. The dad threw us a keg party everybody came. I didn't drink the beer. Being around my dad and his drinking I knew I didn't want any of that. So I danced w/the dad who thought I had alot of soul for a white girl. On to summer. I got lots of letters from Jeff during the year. So I knew he was coming back up for the summer. I worked on a farm that summer for one week me and my brother. We made 35.00, man we thouggt that was alot of money. Jeff came up spent almost all his vaca w/me we had a great time. When I went to chvrch thaat Sunday his grandma picked on me because I had blisters on my hand from when I worked on the farm. She said it was holding her grandson's hand so much. I taught VBs that year. it was great experience.. Yahoo, I'm a senior. What a fun year I was having a blast. Teen council pres. At my church. Ok, so it's not that big a church. Had lots of other friends at other churches mostly guys. So the guys at school didn't matter. I loved going to möthly rallies. I was on the bible quiz team. I sucked. But our team was good. I got asked to the prom ay my music teacher and Bill O. I didn't see the sense in hanging out w/ppl that really didn't like me. We had a sit in demonstratiom that year because one of the teachers hit a student. We wanted our graduation song to be ,'Another Brick in the Wall they weren't having that.

High Scool

Aah, the nineth grade. We'er down on the firrt floor. See the main part of our school. The offices, the senior homeroom, and senior lockers were down the main hall off from the lobatiria. Then came the hall w/all the classes so it was a capital T for our school Tully. It was a fun year. Had a new best friend Debbie R. We had a blast. I joined the choir, tried out for cheerleading, but when some boys made fun of me I dropped out. My friends Deb, Lisc, and me had crushes on three seniors. How they found out I don't know. But, the guy I liked wrote a letter to me, had his lackey give it to me. I tiought oh boy he likes me. Boy was I way off. It was a very cruel letter. Calling me a dog, a cripple among other things. My sister Renee took the letter from me because this boy was in her class, read it, and gave it to my parents. My dad read it, asked me if I was bothering this boy I said no, I was to afraid. He called the asst. Prince Mr. Ferguson @ home. I was called to the office the next day, questioned again so was Rhett. The next day my friend Debbie told me Rhett gave her a letter to give me apologizing but Renee took it from her. After that when ever Rhett saw me in the hall he always said hi but with his head down. That summer I turned 16. What a year that was. Camping every weekend @ Labradore campground. Where I met this guy named Chris. He said he was 24 asked how old I was . I told him I was 16. It didn't seem to matter. He came over to hang glide almost every weekend he wanted to tandem with me, but me being afaid of heights was to chicken. So I took his dog and went back down in the truck and waited for him to come down. My friend Jerry liked his friend Dale, who one weekend set the east coast record for the longest ride.The next year at school I had a new boyfriend named Andy. One weekend my parents went away. Renee said Andy could come over. We went to a friends hung out for awhile. Then cane home. While kissing me goodnight he kissed me on the neck and gave me a hicky I thought Renee's boyfriend Sterling was going to rip his head off. Shortly after that we broke up. One day I stayed home sick from shool. I got mail an autographed picture from Ira Angustain (The White Shadow) and a note from KC's secretary (KC and the Sunshine Band)thanking me for the chain I had sent him I thought what a great day to be sick. We had a box social at our church youth group that year. We invited guy we knew from other churches. Decorated tables. I fixed a seven course meal, w/help from my mom. The guys had to bid for their favorite table. While we girls waited in the other room. They did not know who's tables were who's and we could not know who got our table until they came in to get us. All the girls wanted this guy named Sam to pick their table I had no idea who he was I had never met him till that day. Well, from what I undestand all the guys wanted my table. But, you guessed it Sam won my table and me. It was a blast. We got to meet some new Christian guys and good friends. Summer came I helped @ VBS I liked it I met a boy mamed Jeff visiting from NC. We became friends and wrote each other thru high school. Plus a new youth program started in town. Campouts, ball games. The youth director was way cute. It was another good summer.

Puberty!!! AAAUUGGH

.Starting 6th grade wasn't so bad because, even though we were changing classes we stayed in the elementary building. Had lockers and all. See I was in a small public school. So we were seniors. I was nervous about changing classes. I kept having a reaccuring dream of going to school in my PJ'S. Then next thing I know body parts start changing. Things start flowing. My big sister who I thought I could trust starts singing "This Girl Is A Woman Now." Right on the school bus in front of everybody. I wanted to crawl under the seat. But sat there and took it. After that it's like a big red target for boys is on your butt. I also was incharge of my little brother getting on the bus since he was just getting started. Summers were the best, we always went on a 2 wk. Vaca. to VT., NH., and ME. and VBS. I got baptised @ age 13 in a cow pond accross from the church. That was when my mom started going to church. At Christmas every year we went to FL. We always left Christmas Day after dinner @ Gammy and Gampy's. Boys really started noticing me in 8th grade. I had my 3rd boyfriend named Floyd. We lasted a few months, then once when my mom came to pick Renee and I up from a school dance she saw us standing outside w/our boyfriends. Renee was kissing hers. Man we got yelled at all the way home.

The Next few Years

My brother Frank was born in 1967. I liked school and all but boy kids are mean. In 1970 I failed the 3rd grade. That year was my worst to date. My mom was pregnant w/child number 5. My parents split, we moved to Florida w/mom to grandma's in Geneva. My cousin's were there visiting for the summer. So that wasn't so bad. Plus in September we got a new baby sister. I started the 3rd grade then for the second time. The very first week the school principle and assistant embarassed the crap out of me by having me do some tasks, they wanted to make sure I could hang with the normal kids I guess. They had me do things with my left hand to see if I could some I could not. Then they asked me to jump rope, which I can not do. The other kids started to laugh. I cried, the teacher told me to go to the bathroom and wash my face so I did. Luckily it was the end of the day. My mom came to school the next day and gave them what for. Never had a problem there again. But I did love to play kick ball and was good at it too. While living at grandma's we would help with the animals. Well one weekend grandpa was ringin' chickens. It was funny to us kids to watch 'um run around w/their heads flopin'. Then we had to pull the feathers off. All us kids, don't you know my chicken is the only one that poops after it's dead. We all went eeew, and started to laugh. Even grandma and grandpa. It was a little tough eating chicken for a while. About October my dad came down to see us, my grandma pulled a shot gun on him cused him out then let him in. Next thing I know we're all goin' back to NY. All 5 of us. Boy was I glad. Dad said he bought us a house in Otisco Valley. Things started to look up again. The only thing was our new little sister could never come out of the bedroom when dad was home. Which worked while she was little and couldn't walk. If we went anywhere as a family Renee stayed home w/Heather. One day she got away from us kids 'cause we would all stay in the room and play with her, she went runnin' out into the livingroom ran past my dad laughing 'cause we're all chasing her. I remember seeing my dad smile. A couple days after that my mom was flying back to Florida w/my little sister. My grandma adopted her. My sister Renee was mad. See we didn't know it until later her dad was not our dad. This all happened in 1972. In the 5th grade, it's the end of the year track and field day all the certificates are handed out my PE teacher makes this long speech,I'm not payin to much attn. then she call my name boy was I shocked I got my first achievement award. Started going to church that summer at the church up the road. Got saved made new friends. Mrs. Dennis would pick me up every Sunday.

starting school cont'd.

i remember coming home from school one day and Cheryl met me as I got off the bus, w/her mouth all bandaged up w/a lollypop stick sticking out. She looked so funny. I asked what happened. She said she was jumping from the bed to the dresser to the floor and hit her chin on my old lady in the shoe toy. I also learned to tie my shoes that year. Which got me my first 15 min. of fame, because my parents were taking me to a cerebal palsy clinic a couple times a week and they did a tv show there to show the different therapy programs and the advancement of some of their patients. Then I passed and went on to first grade. I did well for the next couple years. Had fun in school, then I noticed my parents arguing more. Also the one thing I didn't like was in the summer part of my therapy was to where a cast and get fitted for a brace to wear on my left leg to school..,YUCK!

starting school

Before I forget, I had an older sister named Renee. Ofcourse i was her shadow, and a younger sister named Cheryl. Renee and I went to school at the same time but kindergardeners only went half a day. So I got home about 1pm g guess. I don't remember much except that's when I had my first boyfriend Leon. I remeber him because we got in trouble fnr holding hanads, and the teacher seperated us, plus she told my mom

where to start?

My life started June 24, 1961. I was perfect, according to my mom. Then 1 week later tragedy struck. My dad was carrying me in a carrier, trying to keep the sun out of my eyes and dropped me. after bleeding thru two mattresses and 10 hrs. brain surgery I was on my way to recovery. I had this cast on my head til I was 6 months old. Needless to say, because I was hurt on the right side of my head the left side of my body is week. Am I handicapped? Yes, do I let it stop me? Not on your life. I have alot to say, I didn't start walking til I was two. Then at 4yrs. old another bad thing happened. I had a seizure. The Dr. put me on meds. At 5yrs. off to school I went.....more tomorrow.